Crunchy Roll
by Zaxel
Summary: Izzy: A ROLL THAT CRUNCHES! CRUNCHY ROLL! Kary: O.O A fic about how an otaku's life is with her boyfriend and friend.


**Title:** _Crunchy Roll_

**Author:** Zaxel

**Universe:** Bleach/AU

**Main Characters:** Izzy/Urahara

**Pairings: **IzzyxUrahara, RenjixIchigo, KaryxIshida

**Rating:** T+

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

**A/N: **A gift fic for my best friend. She deserved it. This is for you Izzy:3 Oh, and Kary is me of course.

---

"So what exactly are you making?"

Izzy turned to look over her shoulder where the stripped hat shinigami watched her. She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her meal.

"Ignoring me are you?"

"Not exactly. I'm just not answering stupid questions," came her reply.

Urahara chuckled at her response before snapping open his fan. "You're gonna share that?"

Izzy only scoffed at the question as she continued to stir the chicken and rice in the small pot.

"Rice balls would be nice," he said lastly to her as he walked out of the kitchen through one of the three doors.

"Rice balls my ass…." She growled.

"I WANT RICE BALLS!!" came two overly annoying and obnoxiously loud voices.

The young girl twitched with a loud snapping sound as an angry vain appeared on the back of the black beanie she wore.

Two figures with similar red hair rushed into the awesome aroma filled kitchen with cheeky smiles plastered on their faces.

"Izzy!" came the singsong voice of her friend as she hugged her from behind. The contact caused her to tense up immediately before she turned around and smacked her with the hot spatula.

"No rice balls for you!"

"Aw! But we're the infamous Freeloaders!" Renji said with a cheeky grin as he looked over the taller girls shoulder to peek at the pot.

Almost instantly Izzy turned around and smacked him too. "I swore I kicked you guys out earlier. Don't you people have a home?"

Rubbing the sore spot on her cheek, her friend only smiled. "Well, mi casa es su casa, right?"

"No! This isn't even my house! It's a candy shop, idiot," Izzy snapped, clearly irritated.

"But you still have to feed me!" he friend whined.  
"No I fuckin don't!"

And off the two argued, the auburn headed girl whining and nagging and the dark purple haired girl roaring and overpowering.

Renji stole this opportunity to try and sneak a spoonful of the delicious food Izzy was making but was caught in the act by Jinta coming in from the back room, carrying boxes of the new delivery they received that morning.

"Ooooh!! Izzy!!" the child tattled, sounding like a siren. "Renji's touching your food again!! Ooooh!"

Renji flinched and dropped the spoon, the two girls stopped arguing instantly and Jinta snickered triumphantly. Izzy flipped around and jabbed Renji's ribcage with the spatula. "Don't touch my food! The fuck is wrong with you!?"

"Oh my god, ow!" he cried as he hit the floor, clutching the spot where he had been stabbed. Izzy's friend, Kary, giggled at the shinigami.

"Imma kill you, you punk ass brat!!" Renji roared as he jumped to his feet and chased after the small boy.

"Leave the kid alone!!" Izzy snarled as she gave Renji an uppercut that sent him reeling backwards. Kary laughing now included snorts.

"Ah, so I see my freeloaders have dropped by for a visit," Kisuke said as he stood by the doorway of the door he had left through, the commotion in the kitchen grabbing his attention.

"Hello, Sandal-Hat!" Kary greeted, still chuckling. Izzy gave her friend a glare that said, "that's not his name, foo'!"

"Did Mr. Kurosaki kick you two out?"

"Actually, he only kicked out Renji, because he was acting gay again," Kary answered. Renji snorted as picked himself up. "He's just mad 'cause he can't resist me…"

"So then why are _you_ here?" Izzy grumbled, turning off the flame and fixing up her plate.

"Oh! To see you of course!!" the auburn head said all too happily. Izzy felt her right eye twitch.

"No! no! You came here to eat my food! Get the fuck out!"

Kary pouted sadly at her friend, which Izzy ignored, before sending her poppy dog look to Urahara who was fanning himself.

"Well… there's nothing I can do. If she says no, then…"

"But this is your store!" Renji cut him off, defending Kary and holding her dramatically as if protecting her.

"But she's the boss."

Both red heads looked at him with wide eyes, stunned with disbelief.

"Damn right," Izzy agreed, leaving the room with food in hand. Renji continued to protest. "But _you _own this store!"

"Yeah, well…" Kisuke shrugged waving the fan in dismissal. "Maybe if you two can make yourselves useful then you can…"

"RENJI!"

"…stay."

An orange haired teen stomped into the room, seething and gritting his teeth as he jabbed his index finger poked Renji's chest hard.

"OW!" the shinigami whined and flinched back while covering his chest defensively with his arms. "What the hell man!?"

Ichigo pushed Renji so hard that it sent him falling back into the storage room behind him, all sorts of crashing noises sounded as he hit the floor. Kary could do nothing but watch in horror as an angry Ichigo stomped back there and attacked Renji.

"Ey… no destroying new merchandise," Kisuke said as he waved his fan again.

"OH MY ARM!!!" Renji cried.

Kary jumped, "I'M COMING FOR YA BUDDY!!" she called out all Xena-the-warrior- princess like before charging into the back room as if heading off to battle.

Kisuke shook his head and left the three friends--or what he would call, morons-- and walked into the room Izzy was in. She was eating her food quietly while watching a Spanish soap opera as he slowly crept behind her. He snuck in close enough to whisper in her ear, "Boo."

"AAAAH!!!!" everything she had in hand when flying into the air as she shot out of her seat and on to the floor.

Urahara couldn't help but laugh and snort at the usual reaction he got out his girlfriend. Izzy shot up to her feet and snatched his fan out his hands to smack him in the face with it while yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?"

Kisuke only laughed harder and she fwapped him again. "What did I tell you about scaring me, god dammit!"

"Yeah, but it never gets old…" he said before breaking into another laughing fit.

Izzy glared at him, "You are such a…"

CRASH!!!

"Izzy-chan!" Ishida, breathless, stumbled into the room the couple were in. "Do you know what the hell is going on back there!?"

"Oh, Ishida, when did you get here?" Urahara greeted casually, ignoring Ishida's outburst.

"What… is something….happening….?" Izzy hesitated to ask, fearing Ishida's answer.

"There is a war in your back room!"

"Oh. Fuck. No."

---

**Endnotes:** To be continued... xD


End file.
